dating friend fsm fun hang - On dating the cool girl

I’ll tell you what I am: boy crazy, obsessive, highly anxious, a tad OCD, introverted, someone who cries at romantic comedies, someone who’s susceptible to falling in love easily — especially if you have good taste in music and are emotionally unavailable — someone who “revenge-Tinders” when she gets let down by a guy (a term I coined recently after I found out I was dealing with a fuckboy and made it my mission to get back at him).And, yes, I’m also someone who coins her own phrases, laughs at her own jokes, etc.Just think of Taylor Swift when she was dating a bunch.

on dating the cool girl-71on dating the cool girl-66on dating the cool girl-74

I decided to do everything I didn’t do with my last boyfriend and just play it “cool” instead.

This included: wait22 minutes to answer his texts, always say yes to spontaneous Taco Bell at 2am after casual sex, and give an up-in-the-air “maybe” when he’d ask if I was free over the weekend, even though I 100% knew I was.

Women are taught they’re never good enough, and men are taught to forever search for a figment of someone else’s imagination.

Even if someone has the Cool Girl attributes – laid-back, into sports, genuinely enjoys a beer and a burger while maintaining the figure of a Broadway dancer – the only way to truly embody the Cool Girl spirit is by never, ever getting pissed off. In the very best relationships, you’re going to irritate each other from time to time.

As it’s nigh on impossible to do this when you haven't actually read it, I’ve blitzed them all in my time: One Day, The Da Vinci Code, heck, even Twilight.

And so Gone Girl, a reasonably well-written thriller with a twist, felt no different to all the rest; just one in a long line of books enjoying a groundswell of popularity that's disproportionate to its merit. In the second half of Gone Girl, the female protagonist, “Amazing” Amy, writes a deliciously vitriolic critique. “Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want.

Instead of being dubbed a “crazy serial dater,” he’s applauded.

That’s the other thing — the stereotypical male is direct and forthcoming when “courting” someone he likes.

When you spend so much time trying to something, you end up surprising yourself when you actually become that something — sort of like Cady in “Mean Girls,” who pretends to be Plastic and ends up becoming “cold hard shiny Plastic” instead. As I learned, it’s easy to take on this persona when you want to get someone to like you.

By playing all those games, I ruined the chance of actually finding happiness with a great guy. Thanks to rom coms and teen soap operas, a lot of women, like me, have grown up thinking that acting nonchalant and uninterested will have all the guys flocking to you instead of the girl who’s neurotic and outspoken — aka the girl who has no chill.

(Aaaaand then I ended up hooking up with his best friend, because that’s what Cool Girls do, right?

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