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You may find that, rather than pushing boyfriend out of your life, you push your daughter away.
Be warned: while these strategies work with some teens, they backfire with others.
Not to mention that for the moms, viewing the person through their daughters' eyes helped ease some of their concerns.
Teen counselor Suzanne Bonfiglio Bauman is one of the trusted go-to experts in the Ask Elizabeth world.
Sixteen-year-old Leah, a star soccer player, has led a perfect life.
When she meets a sexy older guy, attracted to his independence, she begins to spread her wings.
When it’s over and she’s dating again, she’ll see the light, realize what a horrible boyfriend he was, and she’ll thank you. If you’re Italian or hail from some other guilt-inducing culture, you can stop reading. The rest of you: let your daughter know how hurt and disappointed you are.
Cry, whine, pray aloud, lie in bed with your shades drawn. Your entire clan, dead or alive, is disappointed in her. A grandparent or favorite aunt or uncle must be rolling over in his or her grave. Everyone thought she was better, smarter, kinder, or more mature than she’s proven to be. Now drag out the big guns: with a look of pure disgust, let your daughter know, in no uncertain terms, she’s chosen a loser. Compare her to the ‘good daughter,’ a sister or cousin, the child of a friend, any girl who dates (in your humble opinion) a half-decent guy.
The first time had to do with a close girlfriend, and the other involved a toxic ex-boyfriend (whom she and everyone else who loved me tried every which way to get me to walk away from).
My mom and I have always had an amazing closeness -- we can share almost anything -- but I'll admit these were two times that we had some serious tension between us.
If you're reading this, I'm guessing you know exactly the kind of tension I'm talking about!
It can be so painful and frustrating, and even if your daughter knows deep down that her mom is right (like I did), she often still needs to experience the relationship and its consequences herself before she'll admit it.
While your instincts about him or her may not be wrong, you may not know the full picture.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating