dating ex husband psychology - Dating someone with a terminal illness

Fintan and I had been together just four months when he collapsed on a pitch playing rugby one Saturday morning and had to be taken to hospital.I got a text from him that day saying "don't be alarmed…" but then, two days later, the test results came back revealing it was cancer and terminal.I considered moving but Fintan and I had put so much into making it our home and I didn't want to throw all that away just because right now it was hard.

Soon after, we found out the clinical trials hadn't worked and the descent into palliative care began. It was a hard decision to take, but for the last week of his life, he moved to a hospice. Organising the funeral was a huge thing because what do you do?

I remember the doctor saying "you'll get the chance to be his wife, not his carer". How do you organise a funeral for someone who was 28 and didn't believe in God?

Life's changed and now I've to figure out who I am and what do I want to be doing now? My friends now are all getting married, buying houses and meeting the loves of their lives.

I'm very aware that my 20s only last so long and I don't want to wake up from a bubble of grief when I'm 40 and think what have I missed out on?

Friends insisted I download Tinder but it wasn't for me. Our first wedding anniversary was really difficult.

It freaked me out too much when I'd see someone in a Harlequins rugby shirt and when the app proposed a screen shot of me, the image that came up was Fintan staring back at me. But on days like that I arrange to do something with his family and it's nice to have that connection.An eye-opening oasis of liberating truths you won't find anywhere else! We invite you to speak with like-minded others and share your experiences.Our Community is free of politically correct claptrap and censorship. All are welcome who are genuine, sincere, open-minded, and in pursuit of truth and a better life.Not a 'bucket list' - we weren't jetting off to the Maldives or anything - but we had a good time, going to concerts, laughing at comedians and taking trips in Ireland.We went to the Edinburgh Fringe, out to dinner - just nice things any normal couple might do.To be honest, I'm not even sure I knew what that meant at that point. It was 2013 and with the marvels of modern medicine surely we can treat these things - right? I was also thinking about him and who would he have to distract him from this if he was just sitting at home dealing with this.

Tags: , ,