Ask the dating doyenne

A guiding principle about what to bring begins with simply asking the host.

And if his or her answer is a breezy “nothing,” do just that, as it is the host’s preference.

If you are so compelled beyond the specific instructions, Post suggests something seasonal that may not be for the evening, like a jam or preserve or the perennial bouquet of flowers (already in a vase). Host: If any of your guests love you at all, they will Instagram the dickens out of the evening you so carefully and flawlessly executed so that friends of friends will quake with envy after finding you on the “Explore” page.

“She would have loved the sharing of photos with family and the like, but I think she would say what we say, which is that when it gets too personal, it’s a problem.”And then there are dinner parties, a meal with friends sandwiched between status updates and careful cropping; a simple pleasure that was once one of the great joys of entertaining in the era of the elder Post, who crafted it into a fine art. Be brief and honest and leave the protracted sagas to Tolstoy.

We asked Lizzie, who hosts a podcast on American Public Media, with her relative Daniel Post Senning, called Guest: Do not arrive early. Lizzie Post is very clear: “Walk around the block, go pick up some fresh flowers, anything. Many a data plan has been exhausted with minute-to-minute updates about getting on fictitious trains or phantom pileups on the F. Also, give the host permission to proceed without you, and if you’re going to be more than an hour late, Post advises, “Ask the host if it’s better if you just don’t come.”Host: Be ready when you said the evening would begin.

Or reference an inside joke from the evening on a fellow guest’s Instagram, like a human being.

Lemon and Vanilla Angel Food Cake Recipe This delicate, cloudlike cake from Kristen Murray, pastry chef and owner of Maurice restaurant in Portland, is an adaptation of one from her great-aunt Crys, using rice flour for regular flour so the cake is gluten-free, with a little crunch.

” Which is to say, “We’re done here.” The key is to be clear, and they will get the point.

Guest: The thank you is definitely the most impactful gesture for the guest. And especially with people you’ve just started entertaining with, the absolute best thing is to send a written note the next day,” Post insists.However, one should take care to keep the gesture between the host and guest.One way to thank someone, as well meaning as it is—don’t post on their Facebook wall or other spaces.“As a host, it is live and let live, or you can specify on the invite itself, ‘I am dying to have a completely detached meal,’ and say you can use them during cocktails, but not at dinner.”Guest: If you are newly arrived in a city or neighborhood, don’t shy away from any invitations.“And that is a time to definitely bring a gift for the hostess.Make an uninvited guest feel just as comfortable.” Cher Horowitz grandstanding aside, the more may be the merrier, but it is not your call as a guest.

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