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Such children start to believe that they are unlovable, and they may internalize self-blame, as reflected by an inner critic.Sure enough, when Stephanie took the online “Relationship Attachment Style Test,” her scores revealed that she had an anxious attachment style expressed through anxiety around the fear of abandonment.
Although Stephanie was very confident in other areas of her life, she increasingly felt insecure while dating.
Finally, the rejection became real—no contact at all—and her anxiety escalated to a debilitating level.
This was difficult, because Stephanie had no role model who comforted her during her childhood.
However, she knew that with practice, she would get better at comforting herself.
My parents had a very messy divorce when I was 12 years old.
It was a very impressionable and vulnerable age when I was just starting to piece together my ideas about relationships.Stephanie met a man for their first date together, and it went very well.They talked for three hours, exchanged eye contact, laughed together, and had great chemistry.Now she not only had to deal with by her date, but by her childhood trauma.Although many people feel reassured with more contact, they don’t react with high levels of anxiety when there isn’t the desired level of contact, and they might just move on. While growing up, Stephanie had experienced neglect, for example, being left alone for too many hours on many occasions.I began weekly therapy sessions when I was 14 and continued until I was 17. My psychologist told me I had a very negative love script, and much like a sad movie, my love life would end in tragedy if I kept up it up. Your love script is the little voice in your head that tells you what love should feel like, look like and act like.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating