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Once you’ve hit your 40s and beyond, you kind of know what works for you and what doesn’t. If you do a good job describing yourself and painting a picture of what it feels like to be in a relationship with you, it will attract the right men and repel the wrong ones.

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They especially need to feel needed and like an important contributor to your life.

If you make it sound like you can take it or leave it, they are likely to help you leave it. “I love spending time with my friends, volunteering and reading novels.” When a man reads this his eyes glaze over and he moves on to the next profile.

It often goes something like this: “I spend my days as a busy lawyer and my evenings teaching courses at the local college.

Many weekends are spent training for my next marathon and singing in my church choir.” Whew!

You can go on to say that you look forward to a relationship, but really…where can a man possibly see time for himself in that picture?

Also, avoid these statements: “I don’t need a man, but it would be nice to have one in my life.” Or, “I’ve been fine all these years without a man but I’ll make room for the right one .” Men, just like women, don’t want to feel like an accessory in someone else’s life.

Because, let’s face it, the odds are not in our favor, ladies.

As we get older the man-to-woman ratio moves more and more lopsided.

And once you know how it is inadvertently turning off the men who are looking for a positive, fun connection, it’s really not that difficult.

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